An ex-girlfriend of Paul Thijssen, who beat Lilie James, 21, to death at a Sydney school a year ago, said he had been acting “deranged” when she broke up with him years earlier.
The young woman spoke about Thijssen on 60 Minutes, where Ms James’s heartbroken parents Peta and Jamie also revealed another devastating blow to the family: Peta has cancer.
When Thijssen murdered his ex-girlfriend Ms James, many of his friends said they were shocked, that there were no warning signs that he was capable of such a thing.
But an ex-girlfriend, speaking out for the first time, said she saw what was behind his polite facade years earlier.
The young woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, had been in a relationship with Thijssen for a few months and called it a “fairly normal” relationship.
But he “needed a lot of attention” and always wanted to know where she was and be in her social media photos.
As Thijssen’s obsession grew, she tried to break up with him, but he begged her to take him back, to the point where she eventually said no, and he became “really upset” and punched a nearby tree.
“I thought, ‘Why did you just hit the tree?’ And he said, because I can’t hit the one thing I want to,” the woman said, adding that she was scared and immediately ran home.
A former girlfriend of Paul Thijssen, who beat Lilie James (pictured) to death at a Sydney school a year ago, said he had been “crazy” when she broke up with him years earlier.
Mrs James’s parents, Peta and Jamie (pictured), are heartbroken and have revealed another devastating blow to the family: Peta has cancer
Her fears were heightened when Thijssen appeared outside her family’s home at sunrise on two consecutive mornings.
“I look out of the kitchen window and through the bars of our gate I see Paul’s face staring at me,” she said.
“Then I scream and my dad comes running, grabs a cricket bat and chases him down the street.”
The woman said Thijssen looked “distressed” and as if “something was wrong.”
Years later, when police were hunting for Lilie James’ killer, they immediately thought of Thijssen.
“As soon as I saw the headline, it didn’t say who the person was, but I just knew it was Paul,” she said.
“Every time someone brings this up I think, ‘That should have been me.’ It shouldn’t have been Lilie… it should have been me, if it was anyone.’
Mrs James’ father, Jamie, can’t bring himself to name his daughter’s killer; he simply refers to him as ‘the monster’.
When asked if Lilie’s text message asking her to come to St Andrew’s Cathedral School, where she and Thijssen were both sports coaches, really came from her, he said ‘no, it was from the monster…’
“That message shows the character that the person is just an evil, evil monster who is out to hurt, to injure, to do as much damage as possible.”
The photo shows Paul Thijssen, who murdered Lilie James in Sydney in October 2023
The James family revealed that Peta had cancer, which was diagnosed shortly before their daughter’s death.
“I have melanoma in both lungs and maybe one or two lymph nodes, depending on who you ask,” Peta said.
She now receives immunotherapy once a month. “(I) just take care of my health every day and see where we end up,” she said.
Her husband and son Max give her the strength to carry on.
“I just don’t want to make the situation worse than it is. I just think if I fall apart, it would just make it worse for them.”
Lilie James (pictured) was only 21 years old when she was murdered by her ex-boyfriend
Lilie grew up in Kogarah, in Sydney’s south, with her parents and younger brother (pictured)
Lilie was a champion swimmer who won an under-17 tournament in 2019.
Her parents’ social media pages were filled with photos of her achievements, ranging from primary school dance trophies to the day she got her driver’s license in 2018.
In Kogarah, a 16-year-old Lilie stood outside her family car, proudly holding a yellow L-plate.
“Let the fun begin,” her mother captioned the photo.
Another photo showed Lilie in her school uniform, with a graduation cap and flowers in 2020 as she completed Year 12 at Danebank Anglican School For Girls.
After going to school and receiving the text from Thijssen posing as Lilie, Mr James came home in the early hours of the morning to tell his wife and son that she was dead.
“I will never forget it,” Peta said.
“I will never forget that one moment, the realization that she will never walk through that door again will haunt me for the rest of my life.”
But a forensic psychologist told 60 Minutes that Thijssen likely had a narcissistic personality disorder and could not cope with the rejection of the breakup with Lilie.
“He felt humiliated and degraded, and with that came a flood of intense, angry and heated emotions, which led to rage,” he said.
Lilie’s parents and girlfriend called for change in Australia’s scourge of domestic violence.
“We have to do more,” her father said. ‘For me it just has to stop.’
A friend of Lilie’s said: ‘If we want to leave (a relationship), we should be able to.’
Thijssen committed suicide by jumping off a cliff, hours after killing Mrs. James.
Lillie’s mother said she didn’t see how she could ever forgive Thijssen.
He “can rot in hell,” her father said.
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